Enough

You want me unhappy
To live everyday as a punishment for sins against you
You feel that my suffering is insignificant or unreal
Like all this time past has only been fun and games
You overlook all the loss i have had
Overlook all the altered dreams of tomorrow
Overlook my previously weeping heart
And wish me to stay in a state of remorse

You carry your pain like a badge of honour
That you can show me every now and then
yelling “You gave this to me” remember?
I carry my pain like a dirty secret
I hide it, sugarcoat it and look past it
Whispering “I refuse to live in the past”
You wish me to always remember my mistakes
I wish you would let me forget my shame

I want to be happy
To live everyday rejoicing for a better future
Knowing that i have cried and bled internally enough
Letting the past be healed albeit remembered
Etching out new dreams
Clinging to my blessings
Laughing and Loving
And living content with my everyday trials.