Your virginity is your business

We were just marvelling at how women are socialised to view virginity as this great gift that they preserve to bestow upon a worthy candidate of their choosing. As women, we often forget that sex is meant for our pleasure as well and therefore we should be selective when mating but the basis of selection should be primarily for ourselves and all other considerations should be secondary. Purity is important but the reason for being pure should be more about you than “saving yourself for someone”.

The thing is, and pardon my bluntness, the breaking of virginity is not a fun task for either of the parties involved. It is oftentimes uncomfortable and disappointing for the lady and i would venture to think that the man also finds it uncomfortable. I have even heard of men who will not date virgins because they have an unrealistic expectation of sex and wear their virginity as a badge of honour. 

The phrase “it is a mans world” is often over-used yet little understood. Why would you save your virginity for someone? Doesn’t it make more sense to save it for yourself and choose the moment to break it when you will be in a position to open yourself to enjoy the experience? Isn’t this what men do? You see, for many of my friends, including myself, virginity is not something we planned to do away with, we just happened to be in a relationship and somehow, one thing led to another and the cherry was popped. Most often, the experience was a let down compared to the many years of “cherishing it” that had been put in place. The preceding sexual experiences also would be disappointing as the effort needed to take a lady to orgasm needs a man who is able to put her pleasure ahead of his own.

I put it to you that this should not be the case.  If you are a virgin, you need to look at every suitor as a potential employer and sex as the potential job. Before you go for an interview, don’t you research the potential employer? Don’t you gauge the ability of the employer to match your career aspirations? Don’t you consider the offer and whether or not it can satisfy your needs? Why then would you bestow your virginity to someone only to end in disappointment?

Consider your mate; How does he kiss? How does he caress? Do you have an emotional connection? How are his foreplay skills? Is he patient with you? Is he able to give you a non-intercourse orgasm? My opinion is that all those answers should be positive. Whatever is negative should be corrected before you get to sex.Then consider yourself; what do you want out of the experience? Are you emotionally ready? Will you regret it? Do you have protection? Are you ready to do the work in pleasing him? Remember that sex is a give and take, you can’t just lay there and receive all the time!

Weigh all those questions and only when you are satisfied that you will have a pleasant stress free experience, should you go ahead with it. Remember that your virginity is for you. It does not make the sexual experience sweeter just because you’re a virgin and he most probably will not appreciate the immensity of the sacrifice you think you have made for him. The pleasure of the experience will be determined by the connection you have and the effort you both put into it.

If you are a virgin considering sex, please consider the potential of your mate to please you first before (like many ladies before you) you put his pleasure ahead of yours.