Cycles of dating the wrong man

Do you find yourself dating the same kind of person over and over again?

My very good pal, who i hope wont mind me talking about her life, has been having a nasty string of men.

• They first start by lying about their availability
• Are very quick to talk about marrying her -typically within 2 to 4 weeks of dating and
• Want to meet her family within 3 months
• Very comfortable at her house, spending nights and showing up uninvited
• Also very quick to offer to have children with her often within a month of dating 
• They value her intelligence and claim she is the ideal woman they would hope to spend their lives with
• Do not contribute to household expenses but are willing to do so if prompted

It usually turns out to be that they are married. I think they try to impregnate her before she discovers their marital status so she can have no escape route.  For some odd reason, she forgives the lie since she has already developed feelings and especially since they claim to be unhappy with the marriage.  In order for you to get the full picture, you must see my pal for who she is. She is the ideal wife. The woman who doesn’t mind cooking and cleaning, who will iron your clothes and clean your shoes and pick out your next day outfit. She treats her boyfriend like a king and any man dating her would have a hard time leaving since she loves with her actions. She is an absolute nurturer and on top of that she has a successful career. She is also a fool that needs to know her worth.

I know its harsh to say that but the reality is that our lives are a reflection of the choices we make. She wants a man of her own who will treasure her for who she is and who will be hers alone. Don’t we all? In this case, a change of behaviour needs to come upon her since she is susceptible to these type of people.  There are always signs and we must open our eyes and silence our hearts in order to see them

• If your man is in too great a rush to commit a lifetime and is not taking the time to enjoy the first 3 months of getting to know each other, then you need to investigate why. Is it a wife, girlfriend, family pressure to wed? Either way, this man is not with you for who you are but maybe for what you represent.
• If you’ve never been to his house, that is a red flag most men are comfortable at their house and not yours.
• Have you met his siblings or friends? If not, absolute red flag, its really easy to meet each others friends within 3 months without really trying unless you are hiding something.
• Does he have a baby mama? Extreme red flag because she just might be a wife
• Are you meeting in your house more than actual dating from the beginning? Why aren’t you out in public?
• Are there calls he doesn’t pick when he’s with you? Are there certain times he doesn’t answer your calls and takes a long time to call back e.g overnight?
• Do you only see him when its convenient for him?
• Have you caught him in any lie? Remember the first 3 months are still in the bliss stage of a relationship. Lies should not feature.
• Most importantly, please keep the cookie in the cookie jar. I cannot undervalue Steve Harveys’ advise on the 3 month rule.

To quote “Think Like a man, Act like a lady”, these things happen to her because she allows them to. If you truly value yourself, you will take your time with your heart and you will keep your eyes and your heart closed until the trust is earned.The kind of woman she is should never be exposed to an undeserving person because he will obviously cling to it and try to hold on no matter what. That breed of woman is rare and under the wrong circumstances risks becoming a convenience. The first time it happens is forgiveable since no one sets out to be deceived but the times that make it a cycle are really her responsibility especially since the end result is always the same. Her left with a broken heart. 

Do you know more signs to tell if the man or woman is a possible skunk? Please share…..

Proverbs 4.23 Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.