Month: March 2013

My dear, i hope that one day you will learn to forgive me and perhaps even forget and rebuild your life. In as much as i am remorseful, i do not like swimming in the stench of my mistakes and i am thus forced to abandon my quest to befriend you. You see, i now know that for as long as we meet, it shall always be there, stinking up the atmosphere for you felt soiled and that i totally understand. What i need for you to understand is that for as long as i have suffered, i have learnt my lessons and i have overcome my pain and feel stronger and wiser to move on in love, in life and in happiness. I cannot do that if my past shadows me everyday.

I remember the man you were, a kind and generous soul full of trust. An exquisite gentleman with very good manners. No, am not idealizing you, you were still a stubborn ass even back then but the good far outshone the bad. I hope that you can one day find your way back to that man because he was amazing. I should have treasured him more but our time is past.

I am not that quick squeeze that you can take to bed, it pains that you would think of me that way. I have my esteem, self confidence and self worth high up there. I would not now lower myself in this manner for anyone, not even you. I’m sorry that these are the lessons that i’ve learnt but you know its true.

I pray for you and i wish you the best. Lets meet next time, when you have a toddler on your arm, that looks exactly like you.

I’m imagining your soft pink lips on mine and as i do, i close my eyes and feel your warm breath on my cheek. I inhale loosing myself in your scent, in your proximity in your effect on me.
I imagine how your touch would feel on my face, slightly tilting my chin upwards closer to those bloody soft lips, how your finger would trail my neck. I am utterly aroused,just thinking about it.
I imagine how softly you would kiss me even as your hand found the small of my back and pulled me closer,even as the other hand held the back of my neck, i think i’d be lost only in desire.
I snap out of it, breathing faster, face flushed, heart racing, blushing and feeling a bit embarrassed to be so caught up in fantasy especially thus far i have come as i almost moaned softly.

I open my eyes, face the computer , the report won’t finish itself!

I’m in the cycle,eyes wide open
Heart shut, mind in control
Getting past another trial
This is the cycle of recovery

I’m in the cycle,feeling pretty
Drawing the wrong kind
Committed with loved ones
Someone’s cycle of lust

Am in that trying cycle
My words fail, uninspired
Hollow mind, tasteless rhyme
Cycle of writing