Regret

Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that i don’t wallow for long. Am just not built that way. Long ago, while growing up, i learnt to accept that there are crappy things in life that i can do nothing about. The past is one such thing.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, that’s for sure but i prefer to think that the lesson learnt from those mistakes was by far more valuable than the cost of the mistake. I usually like to say that i’ll try anything at least once, and sure enough, this hasn’t failed me generally, there is always the one exception though, hence my regret.

You see, time shows you the good and the bad and it opens you to so many lives. I have learnt that people can be very very deceptive and all you can do is guard your heart and get to know them before you end up hurt. Even the people who seem really nice, can have very vile intentions or shocking secrets. It is with this knowledge that i regret a time in my past, out of naivety, immaturity and sheer foolishness, when i was such a person.

No one deserves that kind of hurt, no one deserves to be deceived, let alone a really good person with the best of intentions and the highest trust. Am not one for wallowing or living in my past but truth be told, i am  haunted. You see, i like to believe that am a really nice person, i do, and i guess i am. I also like to believe that am an honest person, and i guess am that too. More recently, am also a wiser person and it is with this growing wisdom that i regret.

There is no sorry that can ever be enough, nothing i can do that would bring any reprieve. I pray, i pray that you will be happy. I pray that the scar is healed and as i pray, i dream, and in my dreams, you have bounty and you are blessed and i hope that it comes to pass that such a fate should be yours. I pray that i shall never again be the kind of deceitful, selfish person that i was then and that naivety, foolishness and immaturity of that nature shall never again be mine. I pray that regret will eventually leave my side and if it doesn’t, then i pray that it will always steer me in the right direction.