My Inspiration,
I did not go to a hotel room, after that day in your office, I was done. I did not wait, I did not get hurt. Perhaps you are mistaken.
There are things that do not need to be spoken things that change a person from within and are felt by those around us
He felt it, long before he cornered the truth out of me, I changed.
What could I confess? That I felt no remorse? That it was awesome? That I was overwhelmed? I kept quiet and evaded, and in my silence, he knew.
And he began to show up unexpectedly, albeit hoping to catch me at something and he began to read my emails, and found something, a minor chat with a girlfriend Armed with his knowledge, he confronted me, I still denied, he still knew.
Eventually, months later, after I had fled into the arms of another, I finally confessed. And now, having fled, almost a year later, I have to leave and find myself
for we started up on the wrong footing and used each other to heal
We are all healed to the realization that we made a rushed decision and the truth is stark clear, I committed something that can never be undone or forgot and the power of the act left me unable to deal with my reality and I fled -sought and found solace and buried myself there.
Now am awake, ready to join the world of the living, possibly alone.
And then you write, to overcome me with emotion of things past,
as my clock ticks and my eggs reduceand uncertainty still clouds my life and my reputation tainted in the sight of my family as their angst sets in.
What is the meaning of this? To what end do you send this? Do you not see how damaged I am?
I do not care to save you, rot in your choices if you must but i forbid you to take me with you.
There are no promises for you to make, No explanations you have to proffer and certainly no expectations to live up to.
My naive days are long long gone, there is only truth.
You are unable to confess me, unable to possess me.
You have and will always be unable.
There will always be the truth and you will always know it.
And certainly always live it.
For you live as one who is blind but you see.
You will always see the truth of your life.
I mourn for you, in my loneliness i still mourn for you. I will always mourn for you, there is nothing to give a dead man. Nothing but grief.
Megs' 